Heart shattering...

If not now, when?

It is with heavy heart that I read the headlines this morning. “A convicted felon to be president of the USA” what a day we live in.

I don’t think news has shaken me quite so much since the beginning of war in Ukraine.

Yet again, I ask myself, how many once in a lifetime crises can we survive?

My response, as I’m sure many others too, when news gets too much is to stop watching it, otherwise, how can we go on with our privileged little lives? Silly (9-5) jobs, dating, drinking and so on.
The ‘funny’ thing is… that we must go on as if nothing is happening… until the very last moment. Until we get deprived of the ‘privilege’ to work, to have a bank account (think Handmaid’s Tale), to vote, to go out alone, to at least have hope that should something happen to us law will see us all as equals.
I think what is prevalent is that we are not seen as equal.

I find it heart breaking that the right to abortion, gay and trans rights, amongst so many others are still being questioned/revoked. And it is up to us to stand up for what is right. The other ‘funny’ thing is that it is those with most privilege whose voice matters the most. It is white straight men, who atop of their little hill of safety refuse to stand with us. Refuse to see the issues. It is them who decide to be ‘apolitical’. Imagine, how privileged would you have to be to not care whether a life saving or life altering procedure will be legally available to you?

A few days ago on Graham Norton show 4 guys and a woman were talking about using a mobile phone for self defence. One of the guys made a joke of ‘when would someone even think about it…’. Well, women do. Daily. Every time I’m out at night, walking by myself and seeing a man my safety and what would I do is something that crosses my mind, even if it is just for a split second and Saoirse Ronan did point that out.

@hersportSaoirse Ronan Just Said What Every Woman Feels 👏🏼 During a recent Graham Norton episode, self-defence became the topic of conversation. Saoirse Ronan magnificently cut through the humour to highlight the harsh reality women face daily. When Eddie Redmayne mentioned using a smartphone to defend oneself, Paul Mescal joked, “Who’s actually going to think about that?”—prompting laughs from the men on stage. Ronan tried to jump in, and you can see her saying it was actually a good idea, but after being spoken over twice, she made it clear. “That’s what girls have to think about all the time.” The conversation might be a light-hearted joke for some but it is the everyday reality for EVERY woman. Let’s just look at the facts. • Half of all women feel unsafe walking alone in their own neighbourhoods after dark. For men? Just one in seven. • In busy public places, one in two women feel uneasy alone at night. Only one in five men feel the same. • Four in five women feel vulnerable walking alone in a park after dark, compared to just two in five men. • Two-thirds of young women (16-34) experience harassment each year, with almost half dealing with catcalls or unwanted sexual remarks. • Over half of all women are afraid of being physically attacked while out running—compared to 28% of men. Thank you for speaking up Saoirse 👏🏼 🇮🇪 🎥: Graham Norton Show

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I think this illustrates how much unconscious privilege there is.
Life is unequal and yes, statistically white straight men have it much easier. It has been known for a while, my question is why aren’t they supporting the rest of us? In this day and age, why isn’t there more men standing up for women? For gays? For people with disabilities? For all of us in the precarious position of… not being a white straight man.
I mention the major of London video encouraging men to ‘have a word’ when they see something not right - often. Yet, somehow maybe not often enough? Why is it that such video even had to be made? What is wrong with us in today’s word that we need encouragement to do what is right?

I, maybe naively, think that we do all deep down actually agree that we deserve equality, no matter our race, gender, health etc. Therefore, in my view, the reason why we have so many ‘apoliticals’; why when I speak up on SAs, harassment etc I am sometimes met with ‘well women are bad too’. (As if the MeToo movement didn’t even happen.) is naivety. If it doesn’t concern you then you don’t look into it. The algorithms are so good these days that all that pops up is targeted. So my assumption is that if you are a white man you don’t hear about the deaths caused by lack of access to abortion, you don’t hear about the yet another SA, or gay-hate crime.

I cannot fathom people having an even vaguely similar level of understanding of these issues, the severity and the effects it has on daily lives of the ‘minorities’ affected and yet doing nothing about it.

Now, when someone does say something sexist, racist, transphobic or just hate fuelled, let’s stand up to that. It is ridiculous that it even needs to be said out loud, isn’t it? The time to ‘let it go’ has passed. The time to ‘forget about it and move on’, to ‘politely nod’ is over. The time to even consider being ‘apolitical’ is over! Maybe it was cool, back in the day, who am I to say? Maybe back then we all hated corrupt politicians, cause aren’t they all that? Who am I to judge.
What I do know is that democracy/equality/safety year by year, country by country, election by election is closer and closer to collapse. You might think me dramatic, let me ask you this - When people were raiding the Capitol did you ever imagine history repeating itself? Think about how much has changed over the last 4, 8, 12 years. How much of it has been for the better? How much of that has given us more freedom or safety?

I, in fact, feel less safe, less free, less seen than I have done in the last decade. So to finish let me ask you this…

If not now, when? When will you deem it ‘bad enough’ to stand up? To take action?
And don’t you think it’ll be too late by then?